How can hopelessness be creative?

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I had a situation recently when I was really hoping and longing for real partnership, ideas generation, and closeness with some people I really enjoy. I was feeling a bit lonely and wishing for more from them, and I was starting to get a little desperate.

The more I wanted, the less closeness I felt.

Until I remembered to move into "creative hopelessness".

Creative hopelessness is the idea that, when you see reality clearly and stop hoping for it to be different, your hope can be placed accurately, where the creativity is wanting to happen.

Creative hopelessness can go by other names as well, such as "Loving What Is", as Byron Katie calls it in her book with that title. 

It can be called "Radical Acceptance", or making a conscious effort to honor difficult situations and emotions, fully accepting things as they are.

It can also be called "Healthy Boundaries", as my coach Molly Davis calls it - knowing where I start and stop, and where others start and stop. Only caring for what's mine, and letting others control themselves.

Instead of ignoring, avoiding, or wishing the situation were different, I can start moving through the difficult experience to experience more meaning.

And the funniest thing happened. Once I moved into creative hopelessness, and stopped trying to force the thing that wasn't working, a whole lot more clarity and ease entered the picture, as well as a couple of people who were THRILLED to offer me exactly what I was looking for. 

I have a feeling that this is going to be life-long learning for me. I like to think and dream big, and I like to believe the best in people. Tempered with some radical, accepting, boundaried, reality-based creative hopelessness, it's a powerful combination. 

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1 comment


Very interesting article. Real life

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