Coach Approach Blog

I'm a plant-lover. I get incredible joy from seeing the deep, rich greens of my house plants when they're thriving, and I love watching them for signs of being too dry, too wet, or in too much sun. I make subtle changes to their environment so they can delight in just what they need to grow luscious and bloom. 

Time takes on a new dimension with plants. For example, when we lived in Kenya, we had a meager, nearly see-through privacy hedge. When people drove by on the road, billows of dust would…

Our values shape the way we live, guiding decisions and fueling motivation. The sneaky thing is that while we might say we value one thing, it's our actions that tell the truth. Most of us say we value certain things, yet we're so confused when we find ourselves living according to a different set of values. How to get them to line up?

It can be so energizing to create a life that feels congruent and aligned, so that your professed values and your actual decisions are one and the same.

What is…

We all share certain core needs—it's part of being human, and these needs are fundamental to our value system. When we say, "I feel so loved!" (or "Nobody loves me,") often what we mean to say is, "One of my basic needs is being fully met (or not)."

Some of the basic needs that are a universal part of the human value system include:

• Encouragement
• Acceptance
• Understanding
  
• Admiration
• Recognition
• Comfort
• Approval
• Respect
• Trust
• Value
• Care

These values determine our social and emotio…

My first mistake was moving to a place that has winter. After several months of cold, dark, gray, drizzly weather, my self-talk turns distinctly negative. 

It tells me things like:

• What was I THINKING, trying to run a business? I have no clue what I'm doing.
• How did I get so fat, old, creaky, and tired?
• Why should I coach people when I'm so morose all the time?

Hmmmmm. Surprisingly enough, that kind of talk doesn't help my mood. At all.

However, very smart people, like Ethan Cross in t…

Have you ever had a moment in coaching (or in any conversation) where you feel something before you can explain it? A shift in your conversation partner’s tone. A slight pause. A tightening in your own chest. All of these are data points, and learning to trust them can transform your coaching.

A hunch, a sensation in your body, a whisper of insight that turned out to be exactly what the client needed? That’s intuition at work. And in coaching, intuition is not just a nice-to-have; it’s essentia…

So many people ask me,  "If you could recommend ONE top coaching book, what would it be?" But I'm just not that kind of girl. One book could never be enough. I love so many of them - book recommendations is my love language.

The following books aren't all exactly, strictly coaching books - but they are all marvelous reads chock full of insights that serve humans and coaches very well. Best, of all, I actually know and trust several of the authors in real life, and they're wonderful people.

Thi…

In the Awaken Coaches Community, we hold events called "Coaching Supervision" which is one of the most richly intimate and insightful kinds of conversations coaches can be part of. 

It's so important to create a felt sense of safety and bravery in these spaces, because we're bringing up the kinds of issues we often would rather hide - our biggest OOPS moments, and also the moments we're terribly proud of but can never share outside of such a confidential setting.

We're there to offer one anoth…

The warm Indian Ocean embraced me as I slipped into its waters, my friend's snorkel snug around my head. Below me, a kaleidoscope of life unfolded, a living tapestry of color and movement. I giant sea turtle glided just below me, in a world I never would have imagined if I had kept my face above water. Schools of fish darted like liquid rainbows, weaving through coral gardens that pulsed with life. Nearby, a ray fluttered like a celestial dancer, its wings rippling effortlessly. And a dark (harm…

When I think of conflict, I feel my stomach tighten and I see images and hear sounds of heated arguments. It doesn't feel good. 

That's probably because a lot of the time, we don't fight very well. 

The Destructive Path of Conflict

When conflict is hurtful, it's because it usually includes these traits:

• Personal Attacks: Instead of focusing on what needs to change, people start attacking other's characters, using blame and shame to dominate.
• Lack of Empathy: we stop getting curious to und…

In coaching, powerful questions can shape the conversation, deepen insights, and create transformative shifts for clients. These kinds of questions can't be planned because they're in direct response to what the client is bringing in each moment. However, we can certainly explore the kinds of questions that are most likely to be powerful. 

At the Master Certified Coach (MCC) level, the art of questioning is about:

• tuning into the client with complete presence and awareness
• following the cli…