Coach Approach

When I first founded Awaken Coach Institute, I had a clear vision for what we could become—a place where people grow as coaches and as human beings. But I secretly worried about one thing—the only thing that truly matters to me: could I really co-create a space of love and belonging in a community (without starting a cult)?

It felt too big, too mysterious. Love in community felt like a gift other people knew how to give—charismatic leaders, social geniuses, the spiritual teachers of the world.

Guess how long people listen before jumping in? They might ask a question, start telling their own story, or start saying, "Yeah, uh-huh!"

Would you guess thirty seconds? A full minute?

Nope. Try 18 seconds.

Which of us has ever been listened to for a full minute? What about 5 full minutes? What breakthroughs might be possible if you heard yourself think and feel in that kind of loving presence?

George T. Wolff, MD, teaches family medicine. Speaking of the doctor/patient relationship, he say…

Ron Pratt, a recent Awaken graduate, empowers LGBTQ+ professionals to overcome burnout (which is something I've experienced more than once.)

That's why I'm thrilled that Ron can help so many others, after learning the keys for himself. At Awaken, we're all about alignment at every level - our behaviors, and how we carry them out, come from a deep place of spiritual and identity alignment, bolstered by supportive beliefs.

Ron writes:

"Working in Corporate America, I burned out twice and teeter…

I struggle with rejection sensitivity. It crops up when people I know are getting together, having fun, and posting their togetherness pictures on social media, while I'm feeling far away, lonely, and scared. 

My first instinct is to get them to notice and remember me, maybe feel sorry for me, maybe remember just how much fun and amazing I am. 

My second instinct, if I'm particularly mindful, is to tolerate my own discomfort a little longer, get in touch with my sadness, and remember that all …

I'm a plant-lover. I get incredible joy from seeing the deep, rich greens of my house plants when they're thriving, and I love watching them for signs of being too dry, too wet, or in too much sun. I make subtle changes to their environment so they can delight in just what they need to grow luscious and bloom. 

Time takes on a new dimension with plants. For example, when we lived in Kenya, we had a meager, nearly see-through privacy hedge. When people drove by on the road, billows of dust would…

Our values shape the way we live, guiding decisions and fueling motivation. The sneaky thing is that while we might say we value one thing, it's our actions that tell the truth. Most of us say we value certain things, yet we're so confused when we find ourselves living according to a different set of values. How to get them to line up?

It can be so energizing to create a life that feels congruent and aligned, so that your professed values and your actual decisions are one and the same.

What is…

We all share certain core needs—it's part of being human, and these needs are fundamental to our value system. When we say, "I feel so loved!" (or "Nobody loves me,") often what we mean to say is, "One of my basic needs is being fully met (or not)."

Some of the basic needs that are a universal part of the human value system include:

• Encouragement
• Acceptance
• Understanding
  
• Admiration
• Recognition
• Comfort
• Approval
• Respect
• Trust
• Value
• Care

These values determine our social and emotio…

My first mistake was moving to a place that has winter. After several months of cold, dark, gray, drizzly weather, my self-talk turns distinctly negative. 

It tells me things like:

• What was I THINKING, trying to run a business? I have no clue what I'm doing.
• How did I get so fat, old, creaky, and tired?
• Why should I coach people when I'm so morose all the time?

Hmmmmm. Surprisingly enough, that kind of talk doesn't help my mood. At all.

However, very smart people, like Ethan Cross in t…

Have you ever had a moment in coaching (or in any conversation) where you feel something before you can explain it? A shift in your conversation partner’s tone. A slight pause. A tightening in your own chest. All of these are data points, and learning to trust them can transform your coaching.

A hunch, a sensation in your body, a whisper of insight that turned out to be exactly what the client needed? That’s intuition at work. And in coaching, intuition is not just a nice-to-have; it’s essentia…

So many people ask me,  "If you could recommend ONE top coaching book, what would it be?" But I'm just not that kind of girl. One book could never be enough. I love so many of them - book recommendations is my love language.

The following books aren't all exactly, strictly coaching books - but they are all marvelous reads chock full of insights that serve humans and coaches very well. Best, of all, I actually know and trust several of the authors in real life, and they're wonderful people.

Thi…