Bringing the hard stuff to a friend

I have the honor of offering regular Coaching Supervision sessions, often one-on-one, and regularly in groups. Supervision is a time of deep, sacred reflection - one I believe it's important to engage in throughout a coach's career. 

The types of questions I like to bring to coaching supervision are those that bring me more deeply to myself, and bring more awareness of how my subconscious instincts might be coming into play.

If you're a coach or another helping professional, or just a person who loves to listen to others, maybe one or more of these seven categories sparks reflection on your journey.

1. Who am I becoming as a coach?

• Exploring shifts in my identity, values, or way of being.
• How coaching is transforming me.
• The dance between my personal evolution and my professional practice.

2. What gets stirred in me when I coach?

• Countertransference or parallel processes with my clients.
• Emotional reactions—frustration, attraction, rescue urges, etc.
• Moments when I feel unusually activated or shut down.

3. Where am I colluding with my client’s stuckness?

• Patterns of over-helping, enabling, or subtly leading.
• Fear of challenging a client or being fully honest.
• Hidden dynamics that keep both of us in a loop.

4. What am I avoiding or resisting in my practice?

• Types of clients or issues I steer away from.
• Business decisions I'm procrastinating on.
• Fears around visibility or success.

5. What is the shadow of my coaching gift?

• Overuse of my strengths.
• Places where my unique gifts may create blind spots.
• Unconscious biases or projections.

6. How am I holding power and responsibility in the coaching relationship?

• Boundaries, agreements, and ethical complexity.
• Inner conflict around being directive vs. being client-led.
• Navigating power with humility and integrity.

7. What is the soul of my work asking of me now?

• Invitations to deeper alignment or radical authenticity.
• Longing to shift, let go, or reinvent my practice.
• What wants to emerge through my work?

For me, some of my biggest insights are my tendency to want to be the wise, calm, comforting "mom" to my clients, when they are better served finding their inner parent. And my impatience with people who, in my annoyingly superior opinion, really could use a boost in their spiritual growth. Supervision helps me keep a sense of humor and humility about my humanity.