Why Spiritual Coach Training Starts With Love (Not Skills)

Before I started coach training, I was terrified to begin. I thought of myself as a complete basket case and didn’t want to waste money on myself to study coaching. Whoa - it’s odd to recall how true that felt at the time. 

It’s not that I wasn’t successful, as I had been called the "Rising Star" or the "Stealth Bomber" in my high-powered career in press relations and lobbying in the world of nuclear energy. It’s that I didn’t know how to be kind to myself in a deeper way, recognizing the spiritual power that courses through each one of us. I wasn’t on solid footing internally, and I thought I had to be better than I was to get started.

But at Awaken Coach Institute, we often begin in a place that feels, at first, frustratingly simple: Love. Not even your own personal love, but the Love that upholds the whole universe, yourself included.

If you feel you haven't "arrived" yet, that you’re still wrestling with your own shadows, you might wonder if you are qualified to hold space for others, or if it would make you some kind of imposter if you called yourself a coach.

The truth is, the most profound coaching doesn't come from a place of personal perfection; it comes from a lifelong commitment to the Lake of Love that holds both you and your client.

Moment of reflection:

You might want to pause here for a moment, allowing yourself to notice the love that sustains you, and the next step toward leadership that’s calling you.

The "Kiddie Verses" and the Ego’s Impatience

I remember sitting in a 9-day silent retreat at the Mwangaza Jesuit center in Kenya, at the base of the Ngong Hills. I was nearly 40, my world had been turned upside down by my coach training, and I was desperate to return to a more solid faith and the leadership mastery I used to feel.

My guide, Sister Pat, disregarded my stellar resume and my desire for more substantive teachings. While I wanted to dive into the theology of suffering or the power of resurrection, she kept me tethered to simple verses about lilies, birds, and love. For three years, every time I brought her my self-blame and my insecure intensity, she simply reminded me I was loved.

She told me:

"There’s no point moving quickly on a spiritual journey until you know you’re loved. You haven’t received the grace yet, so I can hardly have you look at leadership, sin, or resurrection, can I? It would be too much."

This is the foundational principle of spiritual coach training. Before we can navigate the "Dark Cave" with a client or help them through the deconstruction that Jim Palmer writes about, we must first be anchored in the radical reality that we, just like our clients, are fundamentally held in The Great Love.

The Labyrinth: A Map of the Coach’s Journey

One of my favorite metaphors for the spiritual journey, and the journey of a coach, is the labyrinth. Unlike a maze, you are never lost in a labyrinth; there is only one path. But that path is full of "meanders," those sharp, pre-planned turns that make you feel like you are walking away from your goal just when you thought you were getting close.

1. The Inward Journey (The Shedding)

Janet Hagberg, in her book 'Real Power: Stages of Personal Power in Organizations', describes six stages people go through when developing their power within a company. From powerlessness, people find their power through association with others, then through their own achievement. However, when you hit "The Wall", everything you thought was true starts to feel false. Many people begin deep spiritual coach training at this stage, which sends them into reflection. There’s got to be more than the ego scripts you’ve developed. And so the inward journey begins.

2. The Center (The Dark Cave)

Eventually, the labyrinth’s path dumps you into the center. This is the "Dark Cave" of the Hero's Journey. It is a place of emotional release, death, and eventually, life. It is the place where you meet your inner angels and demons. As a coach, your power doesn't come from avoiding this cave, but from having sat in its silence long enough to know its topography and to stay in it with your clients, with grounded confidence that it’s more a beginning than an ending. Dusk comes before Dawn.

3. The Outward Journey (The Return)

The journey isn't over when you reach the center. You must walk back out. But the outward journey is different. You are more solid, more grounded. You see others walking toward the center. Because you’ve walked those circuits, you can offer silent encouragement. The outward journey is filled with purpose and wisdom that’s far deeper than what you could hold during the inward journey. Now, you’re the ruler of your own inner kingdom, which provides you with the power to be part of a massive, communal ripple effect.

In spiritual coach training at Awaken we learn to recognize love as the ground beneath every stage, whether it’s an unraveling or a return to new power.

You Don’t Have to Have "Arrived" - Ever

One of the greatest myths in this work is that the coach must be a finished product. I still have days when I forget my value. I still have more moments than I want to admit where I panic that I won’t be loved. I expect to have emotions and thoughts coursing through me until I take my final breath.

But as Steve March suggests, we are not fixing people; we are facilitating an unfolding. You can still be in the process of finding self-love while helping a client find theirs. In fact, it is the very messiness of your lifelong learning that makes you a safe harbor for others to explore their own unfolding. You’re not trusting in your own perfection; you’re trusting in love itself to show up in your client, in yourself, and in the space between.

In the Lake of Love:

• There is no judgment for sitting and wailing at a particular bend in the path.
• Your path and your client's path will cross; you are both on the same journey.
• Leadership is not something you do; it is a state of being that emerges when you know yourself as the ruler of your own internal kingdom.

A World That Works for Everyone

We don’t do this deep, sometimes painful work just for personal enlightenment. We do it because the world needs coaches who have moved past the stilted righteousness of being right or being successful and into the joy of being fully alive.

When you coach from the foundation of Love, your impact ripples outward. By finding the courage to face your own darkness in the labyrinth, you gain the steadiness to help others do the same. This is how we build a world that works for everyone. One soul, one turn, and one meander at a time.

For a deeper reflection on how spirituality lives inside coaching, not as a set of tools or techniques, but as a way of being, I speak more in the video What Does It Really Mean to Become a Spiritual Life Coach? Presence, self-love, and inner alignment become the ground from which coaching relationships grow, and the work always begins within the coach.

A Gentle Invitation

If something in this reflection stirred recognition rather than certainty, you’re not alone.

Many people who find their way to Awaken feel a quiet pull toward coaching long before they feel “ready.” They sense that there is a different way of leading, listening, and being with others, one rooted in love, presence, and deep trust.

If you’re curious what spiritual coach certification training could look like for you, we invite you to join one of our live Q&A conversations.

These gatherings are spacious, relational conversations where you can ask honest questions, meet members of our faculty, and explore whether Awaken’s approach to coach training is a fit for your next season of growth.

About the Author

Christi Byerly, MCC, is the founder and CEO of Awaken Coach Institute. Her coaching process motivates you to build a community of empathy and grace around you, and to live your mission as part of something bigger than you are. With over 15 years of coaching experience, Christi has trained hundreds of new coaches and maintains a thriving practice focused on depth, presence, and authentic transformation.