Why you don't need to be "Ready"

Some people spend their lives waiting for a green light. They tell themselves they will finally step into their calling, especially if it involves leadership or showing up fully as a coach, only once they have fixed every messy part of their internal world. 

That’s certainly the way I used to live. It created a heavy burden of perpetual unreadiness and mistrust of myself. I wanted to hide my “basket case” self in favor of my “wise guru” self. Living out of that persona is destabilizing, to say the least.

It can even become an insidious part of the coaching industry, when some people get caught in the self-improvement paradigm, where people hold the exhausting belief that if they just strive, fix, and push themselves enough, they will eventually reach a place where they are finally okay.

I invite you to consider a different way: The path is trustworthy, love is the foundation beneath your feet, and you make the path by walking.

From Fixing to Including

Some people approach coaching (and life) as a project, complete with KPIs and measures of success. They treat their discomfort or their off-track moments as bugs in the system that need to be deleted, and set up a whole continuous improvement program. 

I was once the Continuous Improvement Leader for a massive communications department within a large multi-national corporation, so I can deeply resonate with the pull toward that way of living. (How wild to recall that was my former life!)

I call the alternative Radical Inclusion. Instead of trying to move beyond the challenge of the moment, I invite you to turn toward it in a process of integration. As you help a client, or yourself, contact the sensations, emotions, and patterns alive right now, you aren't looking for a better version of them, you’re looking for the whole version.

When a client is struggling, some people might try to coach them out of the feeling. They’ll ask a question like, “What would you like to feel instead of that anxiety?” 

Instead, I invite you to ask a simple, life-changing question:

"As you notice these sensations and emotions, how kindly can you feel toward them right now?"

Importantly, if the client doesn't feel kindly toward this emotional part, that's okay too. If you notice a part of you that wants the discomfort to go away, I invite you to include that too. It's just another protective part showing up. The true self, which is Love, can include the positive intentions of that part too.

Love doesn't care so much about doing things right. Love offers a beautiful balance of nurture and structure, attunement and challenge to what is already here.

This is at the heart of what we explore in Beyond Striving: The Paradox of True Transformation and what most coach training gets wrong. The coaches who go deepest with their clients aren't the ones who have arrived. They're the ones who have learned to be present with where they are.

The Ground Beneath Your Feet

When you stop waiting to be ready, you begin to feel the three pillars that support the Awaken way of being:

• Love is the ground beneath your feet: You don’t have to earn your right to belong. You start from love, rather than striving to find it.
• The path is trustworthy: Dynamic intelligence knows how to unfold from the wisdom that’s inherent in the wider system of all creation. When you stop fighting your experience, it begins to reveal the wisdom that’s beyond any one viewpoint.
• You make the path by walking: Clarity doesn’t happen by waiting for perfection. It is found in the step you take while you still feel a bit messy.

Ready to experience this for yourself? The Awaken Way is a free, four-lesson experience of what it feels like when Love itself is the foundation beneath you, the path is trustworthy, and you don't need to be finished to begin.

A Simple Practice for You

If you feel the pressure to be perfect before you begin, but you’re also feeling other big feelings that don’t feel at all perfect, I invite you to try this phrase, which I learned in meditations with Jon Kabat-Zinn:

“The way you are feeling is the way you are feeling right now.”  

In this simple act of allowing and acceptance, I have found that something begins to open. 

When I allow this anxiety, this grief, this fear, this anger to be here now, paradoxically those very emotions run their course and soften on their own in just the right time, usually a shorter time than you imagined. Not because you tried to get rid of them, but because you know you’re deeply OK with their presence here. 

You don’t need to be ready to be whole. You just need to be here.

The Guesthouse

I'm reminded of something Rumi wrote, that this human life is an open door, and every morning brings a new arrival. Joy. Grief. Fear. Some days a whole crowd of sorrows, turning the furniture upside down.

Welcome them anyway.

Each one has made the journey to find you. The difficult ones especially. They are not your enemies. They are clearing space for something you cannot yet see.

Meet them at the door. Not with dread, but with curiosity. Every visitor has been sent as a guide.

This is the essence of depth coaching. Not managing emotions toward a better outcome, but welcoming them as part of the whole. When you can do that for yourself, you can hold that same spaciousness for every client you'll ever work with.

And that is something you can begin practicing right now, long before you feel ready.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need to have my own inner work "sorted" before I start coach training? No. You don't need to be emotionally complete before you can hold space for others. At Awaken, the training IS the inner work. You come as you are, and the process of learning to coach becomes a process of learning to welcome yourself. You don't need to be ready. You need to be willing.

What kind of preparation do I need before coach training? Less than you think. The most important thing you can bring to coach training isn't a polished inner life or years of personal development. It's a genuine desire to go deep, an openness to being changed by the process, and a willingness to show up as you are. The path itself is the preparation.

Can I become a coach while still working on myself? Yes, and in fact that's the only way it ever happens. Coaching isn't a destination you arrive at, it's a lifelong practice of deepening. The most transformative coaches aren't the ones who have figured it all out. They're the ones who have committed to a lifetime of showing up, growing alongside their clients, and trusting that Love itself is the foundation beneath them. At Awaken, that commitment begins on day one, and it never stops.

How do I know if coaching is right for me? If you find yourself naturally holding space for others, drawn to listening at depth, and sensing that there's more to transformation than goals and action steps, that pull is worth paying attention to. Most people who find their way to Awaken feel the call to coaching long before they feel certain about it. The best way to find out is to experience the work directly. The Awaken Way is a good place to start.

How is Awaken's approach to coach training different from other programs? At Awaken, our ICF-accredited coach training programs are designed to train the whole coach, not just the skill set. Your inner life, your unfinished parts, your ongoing growth, these aren't obstacles to becoming a great coach. They're the very ground the work is built on. A fuller exploration of what to look for in a program is available in our Coach Certification Training: The Complete Guide.

If This Resonates

If you're ready for coach training built on radical inclusion, where every part of you is welcome exactly as you are, we'd love to welcome you.

If you already know you're called to this work and would like to join one of our ICF-accredited coach training certification programs, your first step is simple. Book a live intro call and let's talk about what training could look like for you. Or take a closer look at our All-in-One Virtual Coach Certification or our in-person coach certification program in Spain, Europe.

About the Author

Christi Byerly, MCC, is the founder and CEO of Awaken Coach Institute. Her coaching process motivates you to build a community of empathy and grace around you, and to live your mission as part of something bigger than you are. With over 15 years of coaching experience, Christi has trained hundreds of new coaches and maintains a thriving practice focused on depth, presence, and authentic transformation.